2 posts tagged “wonkette”

I am addicted to Wonkette.com, partly because the commenters make me laugh with their incisive wit and willingness to offend in the name of righteous snark. Today, though, is clearly going to be an emotional day for everyone, as evidenced by one commenter.

Okay, so I was doing fine. I drove to the polling place, found a spot to park, and got in the “A-L” line. There was about a half an hour wait, so I bought a cup of coffee from the kids who had ingeniously set up a refreshment table by the front doors of the elementary school. The couple in front of me had a very happy baby. It was all good.

When I finally got to the front of the line, I gave my address and received my ballot. I walked over to the voting table, picked up my Sharpie, and filled in the bubbles—just like on the S.A.T. At that point, I was almost home free. I walked to the back of the gym, put my ballot into the scantron machine, returned my privacy folder, and accepted, with thanks, my sticker.

Then it was out the door and down the hallway. The line was long—very long, especially for Connecticut, which is not a swing state by any stretch of the imagination. There were the doors. If I could just get through the doors and to my car…

Suddenly, a fifty-year-old African American woman merged next to me. She had just voted, too, and she had an “Obama/Biden” button on her jacket. I held the door open for her as we went outside. It was 6:33 A.M.

As we walked in step down the sidewalk in front of the school, she turned to me. “Thank the Lord,” she said. “The sun’s coming up!”

I got into my car and wept.

Yes we can. And, yes, I did.

I don't care what your political affiliation is, this is a great fricking punchline.

Taken from the comments on a Wonkette story about the NRCC's fundraising woes:

Republicans will out-fundraise Democrats by 50% with a new secret plan. They'll lure donors into public bathrooms with the promise of free handjobs. After the act is finished they'll grab the guys' wallets and run away, leaving the "donor" too tangled in his own pants to give chase and too embarrassed to call the cops. The NRCC hopes to raise $15 million this way.

It's a classic masturbate and switch.

--Commenter PrizePig

When I'm at a stoplight and see a Republican fundraiser in the median with a cup and some sob story taped to his chest, I lock the doors, turn up the music and pretend to be fiddling with the radio. Yeah, I do feel a little guilty about it, but the sad truth is: whatever money I gave him, he'd probably spend it on hookers or airport parking while trolling the restrooms for anonymous sex. And anyway, they've got places built expressly for these guys where they can get a square meal and get some sleep with a roof over their heads for a change. It's called prison, and really, let's face it, it's the best place for them.

--Commenter David Flores